10 More Hilarious Parenting Tweets

You all loved my last post on Hilarious Parenting Tweets, so I decided to do another one. Parents, are you ready to laugh? Check out these funny little messages posted on Twitter all about the trials & tribulations of parenting! Follow these users for more funny quips!

10 More Hilarious Parenting Tweets

I talk a lot of shit for a guy standing in Kohl's, holding my wife's purse as she tries on clothes.

— GurleyMan30 (@gamecox93) March 16, 2016

When grocery shopping with my kids, the fact that I make it home with anything besides alcohol is a damn miracle.

— MyQuestionableLife (@2questionable) March 15, 2016

Me: Where did the candy go?

3-year-old: The dog told me to eat some of it.

Me: Half of that isn't true.

3: He told me to eat all of it.

— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 16, 2016

What I say:

Get dressed
Brush teeth
Get in the car

What my kids hear:

Have a snack
Shriek like monkeys
Open 3 umbrellas indoors
Go poop

— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) March 17, 2016

I tucked my kids in last night and said, "See you in the morning!" and then we laughed and laughed. Saw them 16 more times before sunrise.

— Cray at Home Ma (@cray_at_home_ma) March 9, 2016

I've cleaned for hours to get to the point where, if somebody came over, I could probably say, "Sorry, we didn't have a chance to clean."

— Apparently a Parent (@parentapparent) January 23, 2016

At what point do I stop blaming the time change for nightmarish bedtimes & get back to blaming my terrible parenting skills?

— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) March 18, 2016

Parenting is telling your kids to go upstairs and change their clothes, but instead they wrestle for 15 minutes and come down naked.

— Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall) March 17, 2016

Putting pants on my son = putting pants on a pissed off flailing octopus.

— Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) March 16, 2016

My to do list is longer than my attention span.

— FleurDeLea (@Celestinelea90) March 9, 2016

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